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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24181468">What Have You Done?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofaphoenix/pseuds/soulofaphoenix'>soulofaphoenix</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Big Eye Man Martin, Eye!Martin, Gen, Heavy Angst, Lonely!Martin, M/M, Murder, Season 4 Spoilers, Season 5 Spoilers, Web!Martin, Yikes!, get ready for some deep angst, god this is going to hurt, jack of all trades master of none he is, oh god wait i actually have to write a story for it to be written?, what if martin killed elias au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:27:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24181468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofaphoenix/pseuds/soulofaphoenix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“What do you see, Martin?”</p><p>Grabbing the old man by the throat, Martin smiled, looking him in the eye and Seeing. Wide eyes met his steely ones, and with one perfect squeeze, Peter Lukas slumped over, dead.</p><p>“Everything. I see everything.” He whispered, letting the body of his manipulator fall to the floor into the blood of his first kill.</p><p>Now he could protect everyone. He was the one in control.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Martin Blackwood &amp; Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW FOR MURDER. MURDER!!! BIG MURDER</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Martin had been claimed by the Lonely. It was where he belonged. He wanted it, he craved to be by himself. </p>
<p>He needed to. </p>
<p>If he didn’t, everyone would get hurt. He knew he was being manipulated, and he knew he was playing a pawn to something bigger than him.</p>
<p>But that was only for now.</p>
<p>He was going down into the panopticon, where Peter Lukas was leading him, and he had to do what he had to do. No matter what, if Martin couldn’t win, he certainly wouldn’t let Peter.</p>
<p>His hands shook, and he took deep breaths. He didn’t care. He may not leave this, according to Peter Lukas, and a part of him sincerely hoped he wouldn’t.</p>
<p>He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to hurt anymore.</p>
<p>Peter Lukas presented him the panopticon. The wide, underground room was hexagon-shaped, with a large, rising pillar. Slumped against it was the body of one Jonah Magnus, eyes ripped out of his head.</p>
<p>“And you want me to... destroy him?” </p>
<p>“Yes. Exactly.” Peter Lukas smiled his miserable grin as he kept his eyes on his apprentice. </p>
<p>A throat cleared behind him, and to Martin’s surprise, Elias... Jonah... whoever... stood there. The knife in Martin’s hand was held steady, and Martin walked slowly to the body of Jonah Magnus, the two avatars trailing loosely behind him. Elias had a smug, dirty smirk on his face, and Peter Lukas hunched in anticipation.</p>
<p>“Jonah? What are you doing here?” Martin asked, pressing the knife to his eyeless body. Elias smiled calmly, eyebrows raised.</p>
<p>“Well. I’m here for a show. I’m sure you remember our deal, Peter darling?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I do. Go on with it, Martin.”</p>
<p>“No. Elias. Jonah. Whoever you are, speak. Tell me what really is going on.” Martin demanded. Elias tutted, a spark of anxiety rising in his eyes as Martin pressed the knife a bit harder.</p>
<p>“Alright, alright. I hear you, Martin. I will.”</p>
<p>And then Martin knew of the deal, as much as Peter Lukas hated it. The avatar of the Lonely was anxious and mousy, making a visible attempt not to wring his hands. Martin could tell. His hands would almost move together, and then he would correct himself and ball them into fists at his sides.</p>
<p>In a weird way, it was amusing.</p>
<p>And when Jonah was done, Martin smiled. He saw the shivers down the spine of Peter Lukas, and the distance Martin felt from his own self only grew.</p>
<p>Elias underestimated him. Peter underestimated him.</p>
<p>Martin made his decision. The spark of surprise in Elias’ eyes was enough to show him that it wasn’t what he had expected, but that was alright. He didn’t care what Elias could See, because Martin was going to do what he needed to do, and this was something he could win. This was an opportunity he could take to make everyone he cared about safe.</p>
<p>And Martin could never play the hero, but he knew sure as hell that he could play the monster.</p>
<p>As Martin turned calmly to Peter and grabbed the knife with both hands, shoving it into the center of his throat, the gurgling scream afterwards showed plainly how greatly his mentor did not know him. His plan was risky and it had ridden on Martin, but now it was over. It failed.</p>
<p>The satisfaction at the control he felt sickened him.</p>
<p>And Martin turned back to the body of Jonah Magnus. He heard the choked gasp from Elias as he pressed the knife to the eyesocket.</p>
<p>“You don’t want to do that, Martin. We have an audience.” Elias choked out, still looking up at him, his disgusting, satisfied voice enough to make Martin very aware of which of his coworkers would be standing there.</p>
<p>Martin turned to Jon. He smiled, empty.</p>
<p>“Hi, Jon.” His own voice was flat, glazed over, almost echoing in the large space before them. </p>
<p>“Martin, what are you doing?” He asked, plain and simple, the compulsion rolling onto Martin like a wave.</p>
<p>“I’m playing the monster.” He answered, and Jonah Magnus turned to him and lurched forward, almost, almost grabbing his sweater, but Martin moved backwards, pushing the knife up and through the first of Jonah Magnus’ eyesockets. Behind him, Elias screamed a deafening screech and slumped to the floor, blood pouring out of his eye.</p>
<p>“Martin, no, stop!” Jon yelled, pure horror radiating in his voice, and if Martin was looking at him instead of staring at the rotting body of Jonah Magnus which was leaking blood over his hands, he would have seen Jon grab onto his head and fall to his knees.</p>
<p>But no, Martin was stabbing again at the dead man, crying at the monster he was becoming, crying for the mentor he killed, crying because he just wanted someone to love him, and crying for the monster that he would return to them as.</p>
<p>Because as Martin began to Know, began to See, the images flooding into him as if it were breaking through his skull, he felt the pain of Jon, of everyone he knew and loved, and he knew he was going to play the monster perfectly. There was no going back from what he had done.</p>
<p>But at least they would be safe.</p>
<p>That last thought comforted him as he slumped down in a pool of blood, and his exhausted body shutting off from everything pulling and dragging him down.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jon wakes up.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jon awoke, his head hammered in his skull, and he was in his own flat. The smell of freshly brewed tea hit his nose, and he suddenly sprung up, sitting in an upright position and immediately regretting his choice. He groaned.</p><p>Martin.</p><p>Oh god. Martin. What... What had happened? The words “I’m playing the monster” rang in his head, a repeating mantra, as he stood up from his bed and looked around his room. Nothing was different besides a steaming cup of tea on his nightstand. </p><p>It was Martin’s tea. He knew the taste of perfectly brewed chamomile anywhere, and as he cradled the cup in his cold hands, he started to search around his house. The cup was hot and newly made, so Martin... he couldn’t have gone far. </p><p> There was a brief moment if he questioned whether he wanted to see Martin or not, but it wasn’t... right. Of course he did, right? Didn’t he? He wanted to make sure he was safe. That was all. He wanted to see Martin, and he wanted to make sure he was safe. </p><p> God, did he? Martin had killed someone—no, two people. He had killed two people, and he had been so different and off, and his voice had been so flat... but when Jon tightened his hold on the cup of tea, he realized that a piece of him desperately wanted to find him. </p><p> He needed to know. </p><p> He picked up his phone from the table in the living room and checked the date. </p><p> Shit. It had been two goddamn weeks since whatever the hell had gone on, and Martin wasn’t here, and he was alone in his apartment with nothing to find besides the tea and... and a note. </p><p> Scrawled in Martin’s messy print, it read: </p><p>“Good morning. Thought you might be hungry. I doubt you want to take time off of work, but you have two days anyway. Hope you like the tea. </p><p>-Martin.” </p><p> Martin. </p><p> He clutched the note in one hand and lifted it over a folder. </p><p> Ah. A statement. </p><p> Martin was right. He was hungry. </p><p> As he read it out loud, he felt his heart hurt. </p><p>“Statement of Martin K. Blackwood, Head of the Magnus Institute, London, regarding his work under the now deceased Peter Lukas. Statement taken by Jonathan Sims, the Archivist, 27th of May, 2018. Original statement given a week ago, May 20th, 2018. Statement begins. </p><p>‘Hey, Jon. I know you’re reading this now, and you’d just pressed the record button and recited your lines, statement of who, regarding what, taken by you when, original statement given when, statement begins, and all, but this is for you. It’s to feed you, of course, but this is what you need to know. </p><p> Ever since I was little, I’ve always been alone. I believe I was just too awkward for the other kids to really fit in their lovely social puzzle, but... it hurt, still. I tried to make myself believe I didn’t mind it, but I did. Ha. Off track. </p><p> Anyway, when I finally realized I needed people with me for me to really feel anything and reached out, I’d already done enough damage. It was rough, feeling like my mother hated me when all I had done was try to please her, and to be ignored and isolated from my peers, but I guess it was for the best. </p><p> I learned that, to be needed, I needed to be useful to other people. </p><p> Yet, and i couldn’t figure it out for the life of me, you never really needed me. Nobody did, but at least they pretended to. I realized you guys were my first friends, and all I wanted to do was to make sure you guys were cared for and safe. So I made tea, and I laughed nervously, and I loved you, despite your horrible sleeping pattern and terrible attitude. </p><p> So when Sasha died, and Tim died, and you died, I figured I had nothing else to lose. The ones left here didn’t really know me, as much as they tried to pretend to, so I relied on taking care of my mother. </p><p> Then she was gone, too. Enter Peter Lukas, avatar of the Lonely, who had made a wager with Jonah Magnus. </p><p> The terms were such: </p><p> If Peter Lukas could convince me to pull through with getting me to isolate from everyone and lose myself enough, I would be enough Lonely and enough Eye to take over the Institute, and Peter would have the power he ever-so-craved. If he didn’t convince me, Jonah Magnus would take you. Peter would have dragged me into the lonely as bait for you. </p><p> You may be wondering why they would want you there. Ha, it’s funny really. </p><p> You’ve been marked by every single entity besides the Lonely, and by going in there for me, you would have been prime to go through with a mass ritual to bring all the entities into this world. The Watcher’s Crown. </p><p> Why not go through with just a ritual of the Eye? </p><p> Every entity is tied together. You can’t have Vast without Lonely, and where does the line between Spiral and Stranger truly lie? Truth is, it doesn’t. You can’t have a ritual for only one entity, because it doesn’t work. Jonah knew that. When Gertrude found out and tried to stop it, well, you know how that went. </p><p> So, being touched by all the entities in which you would have been, you would’ve brought upon an apocalypse that would have put Jonah and you at the very top of the food chain, preying on the fear from the whole world’s worth of people. </p><p> Isn’t that funny? </p><p> But thank god I decided to do what I did. Now you’ll be safe, and you won’t have to worry about the Watcher’s Crown. </p><p> But, unfortunately, I do think you may have to worry about me. As I have become Head of the Institute, I have new friends. I Know too many things. </p><p> Archivist, my love, I am not a hero. You may know that very well. However, I can play a fantastic monster for you.’ </p><p> Statement—Statement ends. Fuck.” </p><p> The recorder clicked off, and Jonathan Sims slumped forward onto the table, feeling his head thump against the wood and the heart in his throat shatter, burrowing its pieces into his skin and choking him. </p><p> It hurt.</p>
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